Fun fact: Dollar Bill, that douchebag in “Billions,” is actually modeled after me. I know that because Sorkin establishes Dollar’s second address as Tanbark Street. On my escort blog, I wrote about the Tanbark Trail, a very obscure hike in the Catskills…AND…the actor who plays Dollar Bill is a guy named Kelly Aucoin who used to read my escort blog and communicate with me for years before he got the part. When he divulged via email that he became the actor who plays Dollar Bill, we went out for a drink. And it was definitely the guy. I tell the story here: https://medium.com/doing-time/the-southern-district-and-showtimes-billions-1bc4b531c7fe

I note that you’re a federal attorney. Ouch! You can imagine how I feel about federal attorneys. I appeared in front of several. Curiously, of the 5 I recall, only one was a woman. She was also the only attorney who wasn’t morbidly obese. And though she pretended to like me, she secretly did not — and wanted the fed to lock me up and throw away the key — because I wouldn’t set up my Korean clients in the manner she requested. My attitude was “you want to learn about the escort business and the blown-up hype behind all this supposed trafficking? I’ll teach you. You want me to set up loyal customers who run their businesses more efficiently than the US runs the country? I’ll do the time.” And I did the time.

Back to your story. You’re welcome for the boost. Not my intention, obviously. Coming from the escort business where big you-know-whats rule, you can imagine why I had my knee-jerk reaction to your story. I’d have thought you’d developed thicker skin at this point in your life. You’re banging heads with male federal attorneys — and a bureaucracy that boggled my mind with its inefficiency when I experienced it. That can’t be fun.

You really don’t need to take me that seriously. I’m not half the schmuck I pretend to be.