As an addendum, I would add "please, men. Wash your ass!" I've heard just as many professional women complain about guys with skid marks on their underwear - or even guys who left skid marks on the sheets - as I have stories concerning smegma kings.

Funny story: I had a celly in federal prison who did most other inmates' laundry for two mackerel packs as his prison hustle. He would occasionally describe the prominent characteristics of certain inmates' "loads." One inmate who was my celly previous to the launderer - and at once a disgraced ex-campaign manager of Donald Trump's (who laundered money coincidentally and whose initials are PM) - boasted skid marks on his undies. Kind of gives a new and literal meaning to checking out a politician's dirty laundry. To think he was a dandy who famously spent a million bucks on his wardrobe and couldn't take the time to wash his ass boggles the mind. But I guess he was too busy consorting with Russians to clean his butt.