Oh my god! I can’t believe what I just read from my emailed digest. The story is all about the last frontier of body-shaming. A woman posted a picture of herself on Instagram in a bathing suit that revealed the biggest, phattest, and most delicious set of breasts I’ve ever seen on a 50 plus-year-old woman. Somebody added a smarmy comment — and then others jumped in. She was devastated.

Ok! If she’d been on the other end of the spectrum and somebody commented “do you wear a bra or a thimble?” — and then more people jumped in, I…

To nobody’s surprise, prison is a place and experience which often propels its inmates on a downward spiral to the depths of anxiety and depression. Well aware of this problem, prison administrators have designated programs to handle inmates who’ve reached rock bottom and want to end it all.

Suicidal inmates were certainly not a rarity where I stayed. Guys threatened to “hang up” (the colloquial expression used for suicide) on a more or less routine basis.

As such, the prison had a mini tier of suicide cells down on the second floor. Four of them in fact. And somebody had…

I know. I’m certainly not the first guy to name himself Dollar Bill. And I won’t be the last. But the slogan worked for my advertising agency. And my real name was William — which in my mind, legitimized the hackneyed old name.

So anyway…I was born in the New York City area to educated parents both of whom graduated from Columbia University. …

When I told my cousin June the news, she responded “I don’t think I want to hang out with you. You’re bad luck!”

I am age 71 and yesterday, I buried my third ex-girlfriend — that I know of. And FYI — I don’t have that many ex-girlfriends! This isn’t a good sign.

Leah (her work name) was an escort I met about 15 years ago when she was dispatched to my apartment by the owner of the service for which she worked to have me photograph her. …

Quick question (and this is not the beginning of a joke): What do TD Bank, Chase, People’s United, UBS Brokerage, and Citibank all have in common? Answer: They have all terminated my accounts with no explanation nor any provocation on my part.

There is only one explanation: I have a financial felony. I happen to know that’s the reason at UBS, because my broker told me so. A week before I was to surrender to a federal prison for a year, the fed sent notification to my broker that I had a felony. …

I hadn’t thought about this episode from my youth until just recently, when I participated in a Zoom high school reunion with a group of buddies, one of whose presence reminded me of the incident.

I was probably 14 years old at the time — and just your average horny teenager. Back then, kids my age weren’t having sex like they are now. So everything was about fantasy and circle jerks. Nobody in my crew even had a girlfriend to experiment with.

As with any normal kid, I had lots of friends — all of whom fell under the scrutinizing…

When I watch the present day Olympics, I’m starting to feel like that parent who wants to know why every kid in the little league gets a trophy. It used to be that competitors cried when they came in second and got a shitty silver medal. The attitude being: I fucking lost. This sucks!

That seems to be over now. Silver and bronze medalists bask in the glow as if they’re number one. No, you’re not. You got beat. You wanted to be the best in the world — and you failed.

Take Simone Biles. She folded under pressure —…

His name was Dan — and he was one of the first inmates I met upon arriving at MCC federal prison to serve a year. Dan was 52 years old and as I found out, a white-collar offender who ran a commodities trading club. When all his friends' investments went south, Dan generated a fake report to save face and got himself locked up for two or three years.

It wasn’t long before I decided Dan was kind of a douchebag. He wasn’t about owning his crime — and asked a lot of unenlightened questions about the escort business. (He…