How to get a good session when the mood strikes — Reflections of a life gone by: An advice column I wrote 20 years ago when I ran an adult ad agency selling media space to prostitutes. Ya know…being an adult industry ad rep isn’t the walk in the park most guys would imagine. Like…all day…I have women screaming at me…

Working suicide watch at MCC federal prison with Jeffrey Epstein — To nobody’s surprise, prison is a place and experience which often propels its inmates on a downward spiral to the depths of anxiety and depression. Well aware of this problem, prison administrators have designated programs to handle inmates who’ve reached rock bottom and want to end it all. Suicidal inmates…

Get the best bang for your advertising buck with Dollar Bill — I know. I’m certainly not the first guy to name himself Dollar Bill. And I won’t be the last. But the slogan worked for my advertising agency. And my real name was William — which in my mind, legitimized the hackneyed old name. So anyway…I was born in the New…

Even a loser gets lucky occasionally — Boiled down to its lowest common denominator, the world could be separated into two basic types of people. Those who are good gamblers — and those who aren’t. I’m part of the latter. I go to the track? My horse limps to the finish line. I buy a stock? Usually…

Patience and perseverance rewarded — To say I have a checkered past with the Internal Revenue Service would be an understatement. When they come to your door, seize most of your money, and then after 5+ years of harassment, throw you in the slam for a year, you pretty much know they took notice of…

My first head-on collision as a food delivery guy — You know it was bound to happen eventually. Or at least, I did. With bike riders going the wrong way more or less with impunity, it’s not a matter of if — but when — a dasher has an accident. Sunday afternoon. Hot like a mother fucker (the weather —…

Early hip-hop archivin’ — Anybody who knows anything about rap and hip-hop knows that Afrika Babmbatta is a legend in the genre. But it wasn’t always that way. And we interacted when Afrika was just getting started. It was around the year 1980, that the rap/hip-hop phenomenon exploded. Beginning with schoolyard parties staged weekends…

I can still wear — After a fall, winter, and spring season of dashing — a dirty job to be sure — my blue jean collection has become pretty fucking raggedy. In fact, at this point, only one of my many pairs of blue jeans could be termed presentable. And the last time I arrived…

I finally found her — When I look at my DoorDash app, it gives me a few stats: my customer satisfaction rating, my completion percentage, my job acceptance percentage, and the number of lifetime deliveries I’ve made. The first is very high, and worthy of a blue ribbon if you will. The next two? Descending…